Dealing with relationships when studying CFA

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allegro-cpacfa

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Some of you are married, some have girlfriends, boyfriends or whatever. But from my experience, studying for these exams puts relationships in jeopardy. I had a GF who just could not take me studying anymore because all I did was study and not pay enough attention to her. How do yo guys deal with it? Are you able to work things out? Do you have a relationship where the partner understands and is willing to put up with you? My recommendation is to pass the exams asap and then finally you can have a real relationship.
I think I read somehwere that a couple were studying together, but what are the odds of actually meeting someone that also studies CFA. Thats why we need that CFA online dating service. No really, just curious here
Maybe you are the type who is able to joggle the relationship and study mad hours?
 
Allegro-
I have a girlfriend who worked in finance for 2 yrs and is now in law school. She’s been unbelievably understanding about the exam so far and has helped me as much as possible given her own busy schedule. The most important thing for us has been spending time together, even if the quality of that time sucks. So whereas we used to go to cocktail bars or movies or make dinner together, the vast majority of our time together is now studying, ordering in food, and reading/working in silence.
Once an hour one of us will look up from our books at the other and say something like, “Allow me to passionately explain currency arbitrage/property rights/promissory estoppel to you as a demonstration of my love”, because we are MAD LAME. But mainly, it’s just quietly enjoying the fact that even though we’re both studying, we’re at least together, “hanging out” as best as we can. Food gets ordered in, Netflix sits unwatched, and we seem to tough it out OK.
I guess the biggest thing that makes it work is “realistic expectations”. Also the fact that we’re both working on improving ourselves, together. I don’t know how well this would work if my girlfriend worked in publishing and wasn’t pursuing some monster achievement of her own.
-SSF
 
You can juggle it, but you need a supporting partner. Frankly, if the CFA got in the way of my marriage or serious relationship, I would stop pursuing it. The designation is not worth it. There is more to life than studying for exams all night.
 
Yeah, I dated someone that was in business and understood how these goals are, but I also tried dating someone that is the complete opposite and has no goals in life like this, therefore, that relationship ended quick cause she did not want to put up with this, she obviously does not understand.
Thanks for the tips guys, i know i am not the only one in this situation. I;m sure there are plenty of lonely cfa candidates out there also
Nice description supersadface
 
I had the same GF through L1 and L2. By the time I got to L3 I was just so awesome that I couldn’t keep the women away when they saw my blue Schweser books.
 
supersadface Wrote:
——————————————————-
> Allegro-
>
> So whereas we used to
> go to cocktail bars or movies or make dinner
> together, the vast majority of our time together
> is now studying, ordering in food, and
> reading/working in silence.
>
>
> -SSF
a relationship where your female SO is not talking to you…GLORIOUS!
 
eureka Wrote:
——————————————————-
> I had the same GF through L1 and L2. By the time
> I got to L3 I was just so awesome that I couldn’t
> keep the women away when they saw my blue Schweser
> books.
haha ok, so here is my next topic. Does passing the CFA = they are more attracted to you? Do you suddenly look more attractive? I know that the more money you have, the more attractive you become, but CFA blue books? Can’t wait to get there.
 
be happy that she couldnt deal and the 2 of you broke up, you don’t need a needy “me me me” woman.
My wife encouraged me to take the CFA, and lets me study, she knows its intense.
I’d say try to put study hours in early in the morning or later in the night (while shes sleeping).
Waking up at 7 am on the weekend is no picnic, but it gives me about 2 hours before the wife gets up - which means i’ll still have some time to spend with her.
Besides, studying and going for the CFA is a great thing to do and makes you a better, more intelligent human being. Not like your ass is in front of the Xbox all day - she should respect the fact that you’re undertaking a big challenge.
 
my gf’s positive reaction to me studying for the exams was the ultimate test! we’re now happily married.
seriously though, if your woman can’t take you studying for 2 months per year for 3 years, she’s likely worth nothing. during those 2 months, its not like you never see her either, you give her those moments and meals and before bed talk (i.e. when you’re not out until after midnight studying).
its nice to know that after 3 years of CFA pain, and this year’s last minute cramming for CFP pain, that I’ll be able to spend every late May and early June with my wife. hell, she’ll probably be telling me that she needs some time to herself! haha.
 
allegro-cpa/cfa Wrote:
——————————————————-
> Yeah, I dated someone that was in business and
> understood how these goals are, but I also tried
> dating someone that is the complete opposite and
> has no goals in life like this, therefore, that
> relationship ended quick cause she did not want to
> put up with this, she obviously does not
> understand.
>
> Thanks for the tips guys, i know i am not the only
> one in this situation. I;m sure there are plenty
> of lonely cfa candidates out there also
>
> Nice description supersadface
Agreed 100% @ the comment that the ones that don’t put up with it usually never had to experience this grueling process. Studying / working insane amounts of hours does put the relationship on the line, but I think there has to be some common understanding established regarding the importance of the exams.
Yes, there are more important things to life…
But not many.
It’s due to a difference in value systems as well. If your significant other doesn’t consider these things valuable and you do, tension will exist. That’s why it’s important to get everyone on the same page.
In fantasy land, I wouldn’t have to study & work and still have the ability to pay off my bills (trust fund baby dream), but reality is, I need a decent job.
 
This is my second time through level one. I’m married with three kids under the age of six. My wife used to work in the business and understands how tough the exam is. She’s great about letting me study, as long as it doesn’t detract from family time. But, there’s going to come a point when I have to ask the question, does studying for a certificate outweight spending time with my kids and wife? If I fail this time, I’m out.
 
With no kids my wife used my time studying and general absence as an opportunity to pursue an MBA. She is understanding though. In our small house she wears wireless headphones when watching TV whenever I am studying at the house.
 
I’m married and my husband is 100% supportive and understanding. Of course, we don’t get to spend as much time together as we did before, but now we focus on really spending QUALITY time together when we have it.
 
My advice is to dump the girlfriend and instead ask out someone who is really out of your league. This way when you’re studying she’ll be wondering why you’re not calling and start to feel insecure, and then after you pass you’ll get the letters and the hot girl.
 
Jscott24 Wrote:
——————————————————-
> My advice is to dump the girlfriend and instead
> ask out someone who is really out of your league.
> This way when you’re studying she’ll be wondering
> why you’re not calling and start to feel insecure,
> and then after you pass you’ll get the letters and
> the hot girl.
I think this is the best idea I have ever heard. I might give this a shot, I have nothing to lose here. Thanks guys.
As far as the long term relationships go, if you have someone that understands, then thats great. I personally know too many that don’t understand.
I wonder if some of you guys go to the cfai meetings and not only chat cfa stuff, but look for dates. At least you both have something in common.
 
if your gf cant deal with it, then break up.
Not a wife material. Someone who SUPPORTS you are the ones you should spend time with.
 
I could see it being an issue for people that are married with kids, but just a girflriend?
It’s only a couple hours a day, right? You still got time to smash at the end of the night.
 
I started dating a girl a few months ago and said on our second date when it was obvious she was into me, “Just so you know, CFA studying comes 1st until June 5th. If you start giving me problems, needy, etc, we are done and there are no second thoughts about it.” I give her 30 minutes on the phone every other night and we hung out last night for the first time in a week after I couldnt study anymore. Any girl who is bothered by your investment in yourself cares more about her own wants than your needs and is not a good life partner. Short term gains never outweigh long term investment.
 
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