I need tips to ease my guy's tension while studying for L3

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extrafudge

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He’ll be taking the L3 exam as a lot of you in this forum will. We made several adjustments since February, when he started studying.
One: I never initiate an open-ended conversation. I know how essential time is for him, given that he commutes a total of 2 hours a day from home-work and vice versa. He works a full-time job that sometimes requires him to do overtime. He somehow figured out that me texting him less was because of that. He extremely appreciated that.
Two: We meet up by his terms (location and time included). I always tell him that I am here when he needs me and that I just need him to feel satisfied about the amount of study he has put in so far.
Three: I bake little snacks for him. I only see him once a week. But when I do see him, I make sure to bring some food with me. Poor guy, he forgets to eat sometimes. He tells me I don’t need to do these things for him. I just tell him it’s hard to study when your tummy’s growling.
He feels bad sometimes that he doesn’t have enough energy whenever we’re together. I just shush him before he even finishes his sentence. I just want him to pass this exam. I genuinely do.
This is the part where I need everybody’s input. Sometimes I feel like I’m the one more anxious than he is about this exam. Apart from the aforementioned, are there other ways I can help him get through this? He is a really nice guy and I think there are other ways I can help him feel less stressed about the exam. I want to know about those other ways.
I will really appreciate your thoughts on this.
 
@extrafudge
You are doing quite a bit to help your guy. Your adjustments and sacrifice is praiseworthy. Still may be the following will help further..
“I just want him to pass this exam. I genuinely do. “- genuineness is obvious, but if you modify your thoughts to “I just wish him…” then it will be less taxing for you both, till exam as well as after the results. Wishing instead of wanting will have less aggressive impact on your behavior towards him. Why? Often heightened expectations from near and dear ones increases stress level and results in a sort of fear for failure, which impairs rather than helping while preparing for exams. In fact wanting it so badly only contributes to your feeling “sometimes I feel like I’m the one more anxious than he is about this exam” which seems to be true from your post too. Remember since he loves you too your anxiousness will only make him more anxious. Your support with a more relaxed mind will do wonders for him in his ‘struggle’. Show a balanced reaction and should neither unduly play-down the difficulty level of the exam nor amplify or repeatedly accentuate the importance of passing the exam – he has already cleared two levels and this too he will clear with the type of support you are providing. Take it easy without trivialising the issue in any way.
“I just shush him before he even finishes his sentence.” As he is already highly stressed and feeling somewhat ‘guilty’ too, rather than shushing him may be listen to him and explain why you don’t mind it and you will get him to compensate for it after 6th June. That will increase his motivation till that date since he will have something great to look forward to and unburden his mind.
Wishing you and your ‘lucky’ guy best of luck.
 
@extrafudge - While I appreciate your concern and eventual steps that you are taking, I think one key thing is that both of you have to be clear in your minds about priority of things. I would agree to above comment saying take it easy, in case course related help is required, do check out my book on amazon - pratical tips for cfa level 3 that should ease nerves ;)
Happy reading and learning
 
God. I’m new to this forum.
1st reply is for @mygos
2nd for @1BigStudMuffin
 
You’re doing a lot to support him and probably a lot more than most partners. The main tip I’d give you is not to get too anxious or make too big of a deal out of it as that will just add to the pressure.
 
@itera: I will definitely do that! :)
@gringo_bob: thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.
@1BigStudMuffin: Yes.
 
I’m being completely serious:
1) Unsolicited BJs. Not while he’s studying necessarily (although it won’t go unappreciated if you do), but whenever he’s taking a break but too tired to initiate anything…hop to it. Make it clear he doesn’t need to reciprocate. You’re just easing his tension and you’ll take care of yourself.
2) Repeat #1 several times.
 
This sounds like an alter-ego of ChickenTikka. Probably just trolling the s**t out of candidates two months before the exam… for entertainment. TGTBT. Regardless, keep feeding the troll.
 
What’s funny is that when I saw the original post – before there were any replies – I thought that I should mention that many (most?) of the replies would be sexual. I decided not to post.
Perhaps I should have.
 
Weather permitting, my gf and I would take evening walks together 2x-3x/week. It was refreshing to get out of the house for some fresh air and away from the CFA material. It also gave us a chance to catch up with each other.
 
@breadmaker : we only see each other once a week because he wants to take all the time he can to cover all the material. Apart from that, when we do see each other on Saturday, it’s too late (hence too cold) to have a walk around his neighbourhood. When we do converse, I make him talk more so he can just vent.
 
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