Jokes - Finance, CFA or Econ Related?

SuperiorReturn Wrote:
——————————————————-
> there were two friends, one worked in IT, and the
> other was an engineer.
> both of them really wanted to get into finance and
> after much research decided to take the CFA exam.
> both being very smart, passed in 2.5 years and
> began job hunting.
>
> they could not get jobs in finance and remained in
> their respective fields.
> they both ended up having decent lives, but wasted
> 2.5 years of their lives studying for the exam.
A joke has to be somewhat believable to be funny. This is way to far fetched. Find a way to work in an 18 year old, smoking hot farm girl and a hole in the guest bedroom wall and maybe it would be believable.
 
Two mathematicians walk into in a bar.
The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer “one third x cubed.”
She repeats: “one thir — dex cue?”
He repeats “one third x cubed.”
“One thir dex cuebd?”
“Yes, that’s right”, he says.
So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, “one thir dex cuebd… one thir dex cuebd… one thir dex cuebd…”
The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees.
The second man calls over the waitress and asks “What is the integral of x squared?”
The waitress says “one third x cubed” and while walking away, turns back and adds with a wink “…plus a constant.”
 
cityboy Wrote:
——————————————————-
> Danny Boy Wrote:
> ————————————————–
> —–
> > Iginla2010 Wrote:
> >
> ————————————————–
>
> > —–
> > > How many stockbrokers does it take to change
> a
> > > light bulb?
> > > Two.
> > >
> > > One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the
> > > other to try and sell it before it crashes
> > > (knowing that it’s already burned out)
> >
> > I find this joke entirely offensive. Stock
> > brokers are an important part of the finance
> > community and deserve the utmost respect.
>
> Cmon, a joke is a joke.
Apparently the sarcasm wasn’t strong enough.
 
How many Argentines does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ans: None, the Hand of God will do it. :DD
 
A man flying in a hot air balloon realised that he was lost. He spots a man down below and descends. ‘Excuse me’, he shouts. ‘Can you help me ? I promised a friend that I’d meet him half hour ago, but I’m lost. Where am I ?’
‘You are in a hot air balloon’, the man below replied. ‘You are hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude’.
‘Thanks,’ replied the lost balloonist. ‘You must work in Operations.’
‘I do’, said the man below. ‘But how did you know?’
‘Well’, answered the balloonist, ‘Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of it all, and the fact is that I’m still lost!’
‘And you my friend’, said the man below, ‘must work in Front Office’.
‘I do’, said the balloonist. ‘But how come you knew that ?’.
‘Well’, replied the man with his feet on the ground, ‘you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You made a promise which you are not going to keep, and you are now looking to me to solve your problems. And the fact is that you are in exactly the same predicament you were in before we meet, yet somehow all the blame is now being laid on me!’
 
mar350 Wrote:
——————————————————-
> A man flying in a hot air balloon realised that he
> was lost. He spots a man down below and descends.
> ‘Excuse me’, he shouts. ‘Can you help me ? I
> promised a friend that I’d meet him half hour ago,
> but I’m lost. Where am I ?’
>
> ‘You are in a hot air balloon’, the man below
> replied. ‘You are hovering approximately 30 feet
> above this field. You are between 40 and 42
> degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60
> degrees west longitude’.
>
> ‘Thanks,’ replied the lost balloonist. ‘You must
> work in Operations.’
>
> ‘I do’, said the man below. ‘But how did you
> know?’
>
> ‘Well’, answered the balloonist, ‘Everything you
> told me is technically correct, but I have no idea
> what to make of it all, and the fact is that I’m
> still lost!’
>
> ‘And you my friend’, said the man below, ‘must
> work in Front Office’.
>
> ‘I do’, said the balloonist. ‘But how come you
> knew that ?’.
>
> ‘Well’, replied the man with his feet on the
> ground, ‘you don’t know where you are, or where
> you are going. You made a promise which you are
> not going to keep, and you are now looking to me
> to solve your problems. And the fact is that you
> are in exactly the same predicament you were in
> before we meet, yet somehow all the blame is now
> being laid on me!’
…and they must both work for UBS because they’re in the middle of the ocean!
 
I was at the bank earlier today where there was a short line. In front of me was an Asian lady trying to exchange Thai baht for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated about something so I leaned forward to listen.
She asked the teller, ‘Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo baht. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?’ The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘Uh? Fluctuations.’
The Asian lady, looked ready to explode. Incensed, she screamed back at the guy ‘Hey, fluc you white people too!’…
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top