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I’m looking over a weight loss company and obviously one of the big issues is the threat of Alli, the new weight loss pill that appears to work, but has one bad side effect…it makes you crap your pants. To verify if whether or not this is true, I go to Alli’s website to read some reviews and come across the following:
Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:39 pm Post subject: Re: OH NO I DID NOT JUST DO THIS AT THE GYM
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SUICIDAL wrote:
OMG…. I have been taking these pills for about 3 weeks and have lost almost 15 pounds. I have done very well following fat intake (for the most part) and have been working out regularly without any sludgy side effects. Then, 3 days ago I was craving some Ben & Jerry’s Cinnabun Ice Cream. I just had to have it as a treat for all my hard work. I figured I would just have a long workout session the following day. So I get to the gym change into my clothes only to find I did not bring any underwear to workout in Unfortunately, I wear long boxers and could not wear them with my gym shorts, so I thought no biggie. I lifted for about 30 minutes and got on the treadmill to run for a half hour, and thats when it happened. I was doing a sprint at about 7.0 after about 15 minutes of running. Forgeting I had no underwear on let (what I thought) was a string of bubble farts slip only to turn around to a group of young ladies screaming at me. Hearing them through my mp3 I take off my headphones and realize I had somehow shat dropping poo on the back of my shoe and on the treadmill and it was getting flicked behind me onto a couple of hotties on stationary bikes and I did not even know it. What the hell …….. Can I just die now
 
LMAO!! That’s hillarious and devastation…GOD I WANT TO BE IN EQUITY RESEARCH!!!!
 
Wow.
The guy flung liquid feces on the hot girls at the gym.
If that doesn’t warrant a move across the country, I don’t know what does. Just pick up your valuables, get in the car, and never look back.
 
LOL!!! post of the day…easily. this one is for the history books.
 
Even if it is fake, which I’m projecting a 95% probability on, you have to imagine the type of person making up this post. Just look at the detail he gave in describing the type of ice cream he wanted.
 
The icecream craving and type make me think this was a girl…no guy would eat that icecream.
 
that’s right up there with the sink post. nothing beats the terminator post, though.
 
That is hillarious!! HAHA
Last week at my gym I was doing a warm up bench press with a 45 plate on 1 side and a 35 plate on the other without realizing the differences. As soon as I picked it up, the heavier weight gave way because I was confused at what was going on, not realizing that i put on 2 different weights. The bar fell to one side and once it fell, the weight on the other made it swing back violently.
While this was going on it felt as though the music in the gym stopped and everything was in slow motion, while everyone was looking at me.
I played it off as though i meant to do that.
But i think the funniest post in here has to do with the forum “Funny exam day stories” with that guy in the new york city exams who shit on one of the sinks because the line was too long in the bathroom, and backspray went all over his shirt and jacket, so he threw those clothes out and wrote the test in a tanktop hahahaha
 
“But i think the funniest post in here has to do with the forum “Funny exam day stories” with that guy in the new york city exams who @#$%& on one of the sinks because the line was too long in the bathroom, and backspray went all over his shirt and jacket, so he threw those clothes out and wrote the test in a tanktop hahahaha”
Would that be the “sink post”?
 
Remember Grete Waitz winning the NYC marathon with terrible diarrhea? The television announcers just didn’t know what to say about it but she was covered in poo, and winning the race. She just kept going…
I was in a race once (the inaugural Greenville, SC Upstate Marathon) and Grete Waitz was the paid celebrity who ran the 5K. Afterwards she was sitting all by herself in the hotel lobby, so I went up to her and told her I was a huge fan and could she sign my race number. She was very gracious and asked me about my race and wrote a nice note and then signed it on my number. One of my more favorite possessions.
 
Here is the sink post.
Author: ccooper55
Date: Thursday, August 12 @ 1:49 pm
This year, level III, NYC
I am waiting for the bathroom in this massive line about 10 minutes before the start of the exam. There is this guy panicked out of his mind in line ahead of me who I noticed for the previous half hour had been rocking back and forth in the corner of the lobby murmering his notes back to himself from memory…a real whackjob.
Anyway, As I am standing in line with this guy in front of me he starts to sweat profusely and I can litterally hear this guys stomach rumbling…this is where he really freaks out. He starts pounding on the stall doors ( there were only 2) and, of course, no one is coming out so this ass clown drops his pants, hops up on the sink, and blows SH**T all over the sink! The most disgusting thing was the backspray all over this guy! He was COVERED in his own Sh**t. I am laughing my ass off but this guy didnt miss a beat, he rinses off his pants, throws his shirt in the trash and walks into the test wearing only his windbreaker and wet pants.
I could hardly stop laughing to myself a full half hour into the test…I knew then I was going to be alright because at least I didn’t just blow ass chunks all over the bathroom…priceless.
Author: hughj
Date: Thursday, August 12 @ 2:29 pm
NYC this summer, I’ squirting lemon in my iced tea (for a little caffeine pick me up) right before I walk in to the exam center. Some of it squirts the wrong way, gets me in right in the eyes and I literally, can’t see a thing. I ask someone to help me get to the bathroom so I can rinse my eyes. I feel around for the sink, run the water and immerse my face in the sink, and to my horror, it’s full of sh**! I scramble to find a paper towel and the bin’s empty! At this point I go rummaging through the garbage in sheer hysterics to find anything to wipe my face, and to my relief I find a discarded shirt. I wipe my face as quickly as possible w/ the shirt, only to find I’m caking on more sh**, and now I can’t see again. I was totally confused until Cooper’s post put the pieces together for me. BTW I think I did ok in the morning session, afternoon was a little tough.
 
volkovv, thanks for finding that sink post, I die of laughter every time i read it.
“but this guy didnt miss a beat, he rinses off his pants, throws his shirt in the trash and walks into the test wearing only his windbreaker and wet pants”
that is too much
 
not sure why, but it kills me every time.
Author: ralphmacchio
Date: Friday, May 6 @ 2:36 pm
I have a morning ritual that I go through before every big exam. I call it “The Terminator”. First, I crouch down in the shower in the classic “naked terminator traveling through time” pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed to the exam as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.
 
IM f-ing dying of laughter right now (sink post)….im literally crying….LOLO!L
 
this is the funniest thread i have read in a long long time!!! Fantastic!
 
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