Pick up lines for finance professionals

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memalos

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A guy walks up to a woman sitting at the bar and says:
“So, do you have any Madoff exposure”?
 
“Tonight’s guidance calls for double-digit organic growth…in my pants”
 
My Johnson was rated AAA by Moody’s and your best friend Susie.
 
Guy walks into a bar, sees a gorgeous girl and approaches her. He buys her a drink and they begin to converse.
She says to him, “I’d screw anyone, anytime, anywhere, for anything.”
The man was very impressed by this and said, “Really, what investment bank do you work for?”
 
and she says, “…did work for. Since Lehman went under, I’ve been feeling the brunt end of the shaft more often”
 
At the career fair last fall in NYC at 2pm:
Me: So who do you work for?
Random girl: I don’t have a job.
Me: Oh ok cool
Random girl: Do you have a job/work?
Me: Yeah, but I decided just to take the day off and cruise here.
Random girl: Nice - wanna blow this place and go to the bar?
Me: Absolutely
 
comp_sci_kid Wrote:
——————————————————-
> This thread is #2 on my list of the worst possible
> threads ever.
I’ll bite. What’s #1?
 
come on comp_sci_kid, i find this thread amusing, especially ditchdigger2CFA’s “I go long naked options.” haha
 
Sean Avery tells Dion Phaneuf, “I was Elisha Cuthbert’s inventory and yes, it was FIFO”
HORRIBLE
 
You walk up to a sexy female analyst:
“Hey baby, can you WACC me off”
 
“If you ever have an insane amount of data in an Excel spreadsheet and need it manipulated in some way, I’m your guy.”
 
Batman: “Do you want to know what I do?”
Hookers: “No, Not really.”
Bateman: “Well, I work on Wall STreet. Pierce and Pierce.”
 
#1 “Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift, which is not a violation of the CFA code of ethics”.
#2 “Lady, you make my pants file for an extension with SEC”.
 
comp_sci_kid Wrote:
——————————————————-
> This thread is #2 on my list of the worst possible
> threads ever.
Hey babe, I’m not comp_sci_kid, so you’re in luck tonight.
 
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