Questions regarding family during an Interview

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Arrow

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I live in Atlanta and have an interview with a firm in Memphis. My wife is a law student in in Atlanta and has 2 more years for gradudation. We have our home in Atlanta.
If I get the job, I intend to commute to Atlanta (about 400 miles) every other weekend and I don't plan on staying with the firm in Memphis for more than 2 years. We intend to live in Atlanta after my wife's graduation.

I have a gut feel that family questions will come up during the interview in some shape or form. How do I deal with this situation during the interview. I don't want to give an impression that I'll be gone in 2 years.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at Monday, September 18, 2006 at 06:05AM by Arrow.
 
My wife will obviously finish her law studies.
I intend to see her as often as is practicable - whish I envisage to be every other weekend.
After she has finished, in two years time, we have no firm plans ... and will look at all available options.
 
Yeah, that was the best I could come up with too.

Except I wouldn't say "After she has finished, in two years time, we have no firm plans ... and will look at all available options." but rather I would dangle a carrot by saying "After she has finished, in two years time, we have no firm plans ... but she did mention that there's a few law firms in Memphis that she would love to work for". Or something similar - you have to be seen to be making the right noises, at least.

Or even the outright fib "After she has finished, in two years time, I see our future in Memphis because <insert reason>"
 
Mine's the cake.

DeadCat put on the icing, sprinkles and potential cherry.
 
I would be shocked if they hired you even given that reasoning. HR people are training now to try avoid potential meltdowns and your situation is one waiting in the wings. Who is to say that after 3 or 4 months either you start missing your wife so much you quit or she starts missing you and demands that you return home. Or what if being that far from your wife starts to effect your work. You can promise none of these things will happen and you may very well mean it but an HR person and/or hiring manager isn't likely to take that risk unless they need someone ASAP and you are the only remotely viable candidate.

If you really want the job just avoid the questions about your family (They can't push) but if you feel obligated to answer and you REALLY want the job just lie and say your wife is coming with you. After you have the job you can always say there was a change in plans.
 
I agree with RA. I want the job and the safest course is to not take any risk. However RA do you think there is a risk of being cast as someone who is "shady".
 
Arrow, why do you feel inclined to answer these questions anyway? How do you know where you'll be in two years? Well of course you have an inclination, but a lot of things change between now and then, and frankly I think you should be more concerned about getting the job than whatever else is going on...you don't need to show all the cards you've been dealt and I think you should keep your discussion concerning your wife/family situation to a minimum. There's no value-added to the interview process here as RAwannabeCFA pointed out
 
I'm not sure why there would be the risk of being cast as someone shady. Do you typically give off that vibe or do you act differently when you know you are not divulging all the information?

Otherwise then I'd say "no". I don't know of many people who get asked about their wife's plans before they get the job. There is too much risk for them in that question because of your answer. For example if the interviewer notices your wedding ring and says something like , "Well how does your wife like the city?". If your response was, " My husband loves it." Bang...Well they just hired you because even if you went on a 10 minute rant about how you love to do rails of coke in the bathroom on your breaks because if they don't you could potentially sue them for discrimination and since the interview prompted the disclosure with his question you would have a good shot of winning.


If they ask about your plans just tell them this is the job you always wanted and could see yourself working there 10-15 years down the road.
 
They can't legally ask you about your family. I agree with numi, keep your personal information to yourself.
 
^^And you should point out that the question is not only irrelevant but also illegal.
 
^^ What they said.

If you feel compelled to address your family's situation, just lie and say your wife will be relocating to Memphis when she's done with law school.

I mean, if you aren't gonna stick around with the company for more than 2 years anyway and move back to Atlanta...

Screw 'em!
 
The advice from Loxley and Deadcate is great. But I have to wonder why you would even mention anything about you wife's status as a law student. With a delicate situation like this, the less said the better.
 
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