Dear All,
I know this is long, but read on. I am confident this will benefit you too.
I have a problem starting to study for level II exam (on June, 15). I have mixed feelings, and they all cook to become “I DON’T WANT TO STUDY”. I am getting so depressed, I dont want to wake up from bed, I feel down, lazy, extremely underproductive at work, I ‘ve been sleeping 12 hours a day on average, just because now its time to start studying for the exam. I even saw a psychiatrist on the hope of getting some Adderall that might help getting me to study, and I ended up complaining too much and getting anti-depressant instead.
I translated this that the CFA path might be not for me, and my mind is telling me you’re doing the wrong thing. So I started questioning myself deep questions like: what I want out of life, do I really wana stick to the finance path for the rest of your life, isn’t this being part of the same “brainwashing” I think I got out of college? Shouldn’t I pursue the path that I want of life, rather than bullying myself into a path filled with exagrated promises that have no basis at all, a path that is based on fears that are mostly based on society’s outlook? All this suffering is because you don’t want it, if you wanted it, it won’t be suffering, it’ll be painful yet enjoyable.
I have came into a realization before that working a full time job for anybody is NOT for me. Nothing is worth the price of my mental, emotional, and time freedom. The way of life for me is independance, and I am confident I will survive if not thrive in it. Even if I fail, I am happy, atleast I did not invest my life in something against my will.
Currently, these views are just views; I am still afraid and sticking to society’s most common approach, serve the rich and powerful, and they will provide money, be the best servant get the CFA, and the rich will provide more money, while avoiding all the opportunities I can make myself out of this world (my personal view, and I’d love to argue about it). I feel like building a safety net over another over another and ending up wasting a life time without flying.
During my CFA level I I’ve had the same crisis, and that wasn’t at the begining, it was at the last period, I said I’ll do it anyway, but after that no more, the CFA path is not for me. I hesitated signing up for II, but I bullied myself, and pushed myself to register and swallow what ever comes later.
It is not fear of failure, I have high IQ, scored highest in all topics except one in I, I am 100% sure I’ll pass if I prepared well for II.
Are all of this mind tricks and I am just procastinating and don’t want to get into it? I don’t think so, my arguments are valid. (where this thinking is from same entity thats does the tricks…)
Obviously, I am confused and I need 3rd party views..
Need your wise views. I truly appreciate any input.
I know this is long, but read on. I am confident this will benefit you too.
I have a problem starting to study for level II exam (on June, 15). I have mixed feelings, and they all cook to become “I DON’T WANT TO STUDY”. I am getting so depressed, I dont want to wake up from bed, I feel down, lazy, extremely underproductive at work, I ‘ve been sleeping 12 hours a day on average, just because now its time to start studying for the exam. I even saw a psychiatrist on the hope of getting some Adderall that might help getting me to study, and I ended up complaining too much and getting anti-depressant instead.
I translated this that the CFA path might be not for me, and my mind is telling me you’re doing the wrong thing. So I started questioning myself deep questions like: what I want out of life, do I really wana stick to the finance path for the rest of your life, isn’t this being part of the same “brainwashing” I think I got out of college? Shouldn’t I pursue the path that I want of life, rather than bullying myself into a path filled with exagrated promises that have no basis at all, a path that is based on fears that are mostly based on society’s outlook? All this suffering is because you don’t want it, if you wanted it, it won’t be suffering, it’ll be painful yet enjoyable.
I have came into a realization before that working a full time job for anybody is NOT for me. Nothing is worth the price of my mental, emotional, and time freedom. The way of life for me is independance, and I am confident I will survive if not thrive in it. Even if I fail, I am happy, atleast I did not invest my life in something against my will.
Currently, these views are just views; I am still afraid and sticking to society’s most common approach, serve the rich and powerful, and they will provide money, be the best servant get the CFA, and the rich will provide more money, while avoiding all the opportunities I can make myself out of this world (my personal view, and I’d love to argue about it). I feel like building a safety net over another over another and ending up wasting a life time without flying.
During my CFA level I I’ve had the same crisis, and that wasn’t at the begining, it was at the last period, I said I’ll do it anyway, but after that no more, the CFA path is not for me. I hesitated signing up for II, but I bullied myself, and pushed myself to register and swallow what ever comes later.
It is not fear of failure, I have high IQ, scored highest in all topics except one in I, I am 100% sure I’ll pass if I prepared well for II.
Are all of this mind tricks and I am just procastinating and don’t want to get into it? I don’t think so, my arguments are valid. (where this thinking is from same entity thats does the tricks…)
Obviously, I am confused and I need 3rd party views..
Need your wise views. I truly appreciate any input.